When They Can’t Meet You Where You Are

It’s one of the hardest truths to sit with that someone we care about simply might not have the capacity to meet us.
Not emotionally. Not relationally. Not in the way we hope.

And yet, when faced with that gap, our instinct is often to try harder.
To give more.
To wait, endlessly, for something to change.

We convince ourselves that if we just show them the right kind of love… if we’re patient enough, flexible enough, forgiving enough… they’ll rise to meet us.
But sometimes, no matter how much we pour in, their capacity remains the same.

And when we find ourselves over-functioning, minimising our own needs, or subtly trying to “fix” someone, it’s worth asking:
What am I not willing to see here?

Their capacity or lack thereof is not a reflection of your worth.
But your resistance to accepting it might point to something deeper:
A fear of letting go.
A fear of being alone.
A fear of grieving the version of the relationship you imagined.

Acceptance is rarely comfortable. It can feel like giving up.
But often, it’s the first step towards reclaiming your peace.

Because here’s the truth:
When you are deeply connected to yourself, you already feel whole.
Anyone who comes into your life becomes a beautiful addition, not a missing piece you need to feel complete.

When you know yourself, you stop chasing what isn’t available.
You stop trying to pull water from an empty well.
And you start mirroring that deep, respectful connection in the relationships you choose to nurture.

It’s not about lowering your standards.
It’s about recognising your worth and no longer trying to convince someone else of it.